blog

I don't know if anyone reads this at all. Not that it matters but I would much rather if no one did. Why don't I just have a diary then? I don't know. Like most other things, I don't know.

Right now, for that matter, I don't know why I'm sad (or "depressed", as I'd like to believe) but I am. I don't know what makes me go on. I just know that it does. But then, there are those who make you want to live, make you want to realise that you have friends (even if they are few). People who wouldn't be lost without you but will miss you nonetheless. Because you were a part of them, a part of their life. Friends who would like to spend your Sundays with them. Or an hour that they have free from work. 

I don't know why I think of this at all... why I think writing all this (like a personal diary entry) in a blog would make any sense at all...

but when inebriation kicks in,

it doesn't matter. All I want to do, and feel like doing, is write. Write on this blog that still is. It stays, without me bothering about it. It still stays where it is, as I left it. If only I was like this... not caring about what happens outside of me. Staying put like nothing ever happened or will happen. 

Have you ever felt...

Have you ever felt
like life is running away from you?
Like it doesn't want you to be a part of it anymore...
like you have been abandoned.

Have you ever felt
like you were in love?
Falling helplessly and trying
to catch on
to something that will
keep your sanity...
Something that will make you feel
like you have lived...
make you feel lively
enough to make you die
for that one.

Have you ever felt
like life was being unfaithful?
Like you wanted
to reach out and take
a second chance...
except it never let you.

Life...
you bitch.

Have you ever felt
the lightness of the touch
when you say goodbye
after that hug
that you never wanted to let go of?
Have you ever wanted
that hand to be on yours, forever?
Hoping no one
or nothing
will ever come in between


you and the one
who has gone away from you
maybe not forever
maybe forever too...

How would you know
if you have loved
and loved again
and lost it
to your life that
behaves like an erratic girlfriend
who'll leave you
to die
on your own?