Struggling... To write? To feel? To emote?

My mind is empty.

Blank. ___

No thoughts, no words, no imajpegs.

It's like blank paper (the ones that are never fed in our university "printer").

Only, not that small.

Not any size. Not A4 at least... that'd be too small.

It's almost infinite, the size.

Infinite blankness. Blackness?

No, it's not black.

But, it's not bleached white either, like paper.

Or unlike it.

It's colourless.

Yes! Like glass.

But glass allows you to see the other side.

It's transparent. It's dumb.

Minds are not transparent.

You can't see through.

It's opaque.

It's like the functioning of a prism.

Or just the opposite.

The mind can't be dumb.

It's just filled with so many colours that

they all mix to give white.

But that's only a perceptual way of saying it.

My mind is filled with white noise.

I can't differentiate between the noises.

I've tried. I really have.

Then I gave up.

It's tiring.

It's tiring to think.

It's tiring to try and decipher.

What I feel, or don't.

What others say, or don't.

What I can.

Or can't.

I never can.

But then, can anybody?

Me.

Considering the fact that this is a public blog and that people who don't know me and vice-versa will read this, I thought I should write a teeny bit about ME. Now there's an awful lot I can say about myself but like I usually do, I won't say it all out right away. Most of my writings will, in all probability, say a few things about me so you may as well read them and figure me out.

But yes, point blank, I'm not too fond of myself although I'm in the process of making myself more self-loving! :)

Among other things, I write not because I like to but more because I have to, because I'm more oral than scribal. I can yap my way to glory but when I sit and write, it's mostly shredder-worthy.

I am hardly self-centered, quite unlike what this post might seem to say, but what the hell, I couldn't think of a better topic to start with! And now that I have become aware of the narcissistic nature of this post, I will stop adding any more to this worthless piece of writing.

PS: Also, I can never write more than 400 words at a time.

Plus, for all those wondering why I took a sudden interest in blogging...Paul (the boyfriend) suggested I write regularly so as to avoid the shit quality of writing that my assignments have recently suffered.

The first one. More like a disclaimer.

So, I've just started a blog.

I haven't done it before and I never really cared about blogging much, but I need to write on a daily (or atleast weekly basis) so I thought I should start blogging. I don't think I write too well so if you're planning to read my posts then do so at your own risk. I have no idea what this blog is going to be filled with, although I'm hoping it's a li'l bit of everything! :)

Let's see how this goes...

If you're going to read this blog, then be my guest but do not judge me! :P